after publishing my last entry i remembered a few other items worth commenting on...
- baby monitors: you probably don't need this from day 1. if you know what your sleeping arrangement will eventually be, and it involves using a separate room for baby, then sure - it's fine to purchase one ahead of time. but if you aren't sure what the sleeping arrangement will be, or if you plan to co-sleep or share a room with baby, you're best off waiting.
even having separate rooms, we don't NEED our monitor... it has been found to be most useful during daytime naps in month 3, when we've gotten her to sleep upstairs in her crib (and we are downstairs). it is also useful in month 3 now that we put her to bed a few hours before we go to sleep (sometimes she wakes back up while we're watching a loud movie downstairs so the monitor helps us in those situations). but generally at night, her crying is loud enough to wake us up w/out a monitor and/or she doesn't wake up and thus we don't need one...
our video monitor is fun to have but not a necessity in the slightest. i like it best to spy on her when she's in between sleeping and awake, but could surely get along without the cool infrared nighttime vision if i had to...
- strollers: i like having our stroller, but our baby hated it in the first few months. we ended up wearing her (via sling, moby or bjorn) until only recently. we are finally at a stage where we can take her on long walks in the stroller, but this is a very recent, 3-month milestone. of course every baby is different and some love their strollers the moment they pop out of the womb... so it's totally your call here. just don't feel pressured that you HAVE to get one, because you don't. besides, baby wearing is better anyways (reduces their likelihood of getting a flat head... plus it helps you bond with baby, and strangers are less likely to come touch your child, unsolicited).
- diaper pails: if you have the space, get one. poopy diapers stink! but a good old-fashioned trash can works fine too, if space, money is an issue and you can tolerate poo smells. just be sure to keep a lot of garbage bags on hand... newborns soil a LOT of diapers!
12.28.2009
baby stuff
ahh the holidays! always makes me think of stuff. stuff we want. stuff we don't need. stuff we get as gifts (good or bad). good ol' stuff.
babies need a lot of stuff -- but there is also a lot of stuff they definitely DON'T need... or don't need right away. here's my quick and dirty list of stuff that i found was essential:
1. stuff to get before the birth, for use immediately after bringing baby home:
- newborn sized diapers (that's "N" not "1")
- several boxes of wipes (you go through a lot!)
- a permanent place to change diapers, that you don't have to bend over to get to, and that you don't have to "set up" each time... you will be doing a LOT of diaper changes! we just set up shop on top of a normal dresser by using a diaper changing mattress and a box (for stability), and put all our diapers and goods in the dresser drawers.
- washable changing pad covers (3 is a good number)
- pack (or 2) of cheepo white, generic old cloth diapers (to use as burp cloths...) they are the most absorbent! waaaaay better than the designer burp cloths out there, and much cheaper. we keep a few downstairs, 1 in our bedroom, 2 on the changing table, and the rest in a stack easily accessible to the changing table.
- 6+ pack of white long-sleeved tees and/or onesies that have fold-over hand mits on the end of the sleeves, so baby doesn't scratch their face. loose mits also work but the built-in kind are much better
- variety of onesies, pants and socks that are newborn sized (or 0-3 month for the bigger baby) and appropriate for the season your baby is born... for example, we have a ton of spring-colored, thin, short-sleeved onesies we'll never use because our baby was born in the fall & needs warmer clothes. likewise, we just got a long sleeved christmas onesie as a gift that is too big this year and will be too small by next year!
- 3 swaddling blankets... nothing fancy, just the basic, non-stretchy old blanket (make sure you have your nurse at the hospital show you the right way to swaddle... and remember, the tighter the better! as my baby daddy likes to say "if they start to cry, it's tight enough")
- somewhere for baby to sleep - could be a crib, a bassinet, a bouncy seat, a co-sleeper... whatever you prefer. newborns sleep a lot!
- a permanent place for breastfeeding (you only need this for the first 2 months, until you get your skills down, the baby gets bigger and baby feeds less often... until then, you pretty much camp out here). should consist of:
1. comfortable seat for mom
2. lots of pillows and/or a bobby/my breast friend pillow for baby and arm support
3. small table to place water glasses (drink a lot of fluids!) snacks, magazines, books, mobile internet device & TV remote control
4. (nice to have) a stool, ottoman, or foot rest to relieve leg pressure while nursing
- see my "lochia" post for the stuff mom needs for post-labor healing & recovery
- comfortable clothing for nursing (soft, loose tops with deep v-necks or buttons in front or wraps... think about easy-access to the boobs which doesn't require you to pull it up over your chest and bare your tummy to the world)
- disposable nursing pads for mom at nighttime (and sometimes for daytime in the beginning!) + "lilypadz" (reusable, prevent leakage)
- baby nail clippers or a glass nail file for baby's rapid-grow fingernails
- place to bathe baby (we used the sink + a baby bath seat for the first month or so, and now co-bathe with baby who still sits in the seat) & soap or shampoo that is safe for newborns
- a few style pacifiers (assuming you plan to use them) to try out and see which ones baby likes best
- a few bottles just in case (sometimes pumped breastmilk fed to baby in a bottle allowed mom a much needed feeding break or a chance to get out of the house for an hour or two)
- car seat (you can't take baby home without it!!)
2. stuff to get after baby is born & home / wait to buy
- a sling or wrap to wear the baby... i liked the Moby style wraps for the first 1-3 months at home, but the bjorn for adventures out of the house (though you can't use them for the newest of newborns). the Moby grows with baby, so you can use it in many different ways, but it's a bit of a mess to learn how to get on & off.
- a swing or bouncy seat (if you aren't already using one as the place where baby sleeps) for daytime naps or to set down baby while you do a chore
- a place on the floor for baby to play (we use a quilt)
- activity arch / mat that has toys that hang above baby's head for swatting & grabbing. some of these come attached to a mat, some are stand-alone. either way, you won't really need this until baby is in the 2-3 month range.
- baby toys (you won't need these until baby is at least 1-2 months old, and basic rattles are good-enough for a while)
- high chair (you won't need this until they're sitting up & eating solids - at least 5-6 months after baby is born!)
- all other baby crap (just get as-needed, if needed!)
babies need a lot of stuff -- but there is also a lot of stuff they definitely DON'T need... or don't need right away. here's my quick and dirty list of stuff that i found was essential:
1. stuff to get before the birth, for use immediately after bringing baby home:
- newborn sized diapers (that's "N" not "1")
- several boxes of wipes (you go through a lot!)
- a permanent place to change diapers, that you don't have to bend over to get to, and that you don't have to "set up" each time... you will be doing a LOT of diaper changes! we just set up shop on top of a normal dresser by using a diaper changing mattress and a box (for stability), and put all our diapers and goods in the dresser drawers.
- washable changing pad covers (3 is a good number)
- pack (or 2) of cheepo white, generic old cloth diapers (to use as burp cloths...) they are the most absorbent! waaaaay better than the designer burp cloths out there, and much cheaper. we keep a few downstairs, 1 in our bedroom, 2 on the changing table, and the rest in a stack easily accessible to the changing table.
- 6+ pack of white long-sleeved tees and/or onesies that have fold-over hand mits on the end of the sleeves, so baby doesn't scratch their face. loose mits also work but the built-in kind are much better
- variety of onesies, pants and socks that are newborn sized (or 0-3 month for the bigger baby) and appropriate for the season your baby is born... for example, we have a ton of spring-colored, thin, short-sleeved onesies we'll never use because our baby was born in the fall & needs warmer clothes. likewise, we just got a long sleeved christmas onesie as a gift that is too big this year and will be too small by next year!
- 3 swaddling blankets... nothing fancy, just the basic, non-stretchy old blanket (make sure you have your nurse at the hospital show you the right way to swaddle... and remember, the tighter the better! as my baby daddy likes to say "if they start to cry, it's tight enough")
- somewhere for baby to sleep - could be a crib, a bassinet, a bouncy seat, a co-sleeper... whatever you prefer. newborns sleep a lot!
- a permanent place for breastfeeding (you only need this for the first 2 months, until you get your skills down, the baby gets bigger and baby feeds less often... until then, you pretty much camp out here). should consist of:
1. comfortable seat for mom
2. lots of pillows and/or a bobby/my breast friend pillow for baby and arm support
3. small table to place water glasses (drink a lot of fluids!) snacks, magazines, books, mobile internet device & TV remote control
4. (nice to have) a stool, ottoman, or foot rest to relieve leg pressure while nursing
- see my "lochia" post for the stuff mom needs for post-labor healing & recovery
- comfortable clothing for nursing (soft, loose tops with deep v-necks or buttons in front or wraps... think about easy-access to the boobs which doesn't require you to pull it up over your chest and bare your tummy to the world)
- disposable nursing pads for mom at nighttime (and sometimes for daytime in the beginning!) + "lilypadz" (reusable, prevent leakage)
- baby nail clippers or a glass nail file for baby's rapid-grow fingernails
- place to bathe baby (we used the sink + a baby bath seat for the first month or so, and now co-bathe with baby who still sits in the seat) & soap or shampoo that is safe for newborns
- a few style pacifiers (assuming you plan to use them) to try out and see which ones baby likes best
- a few bottles just in case (sometimes pumped breastmilk fed to baby in a bottle allowed mom a much needed feeding break or a chance to get out of the house for an hour or two)
- car seat (you can't take baby home without it!!)
2. stuff to get after baby is born & home / wait to buy
- a sling or wrap to wear the baby... i liked the Moby style wraps for the first 1-3 months at home, but the bjorn for adventures out of the house (though you can't use them for the newest of newborns). the Moby grows with baby, so you can use it in many different ways, but it's a bit of a mess to learn how to get on & off.
- a swing or bouncy seat (if you aren't already using one as the place where baby sleeps) for daytime naps or to set down baby while you do a chore
- a place on the floor for baby to play (we use a quilt)
- activity arch / mat that has toys that hang above baby's head for swatting & grabbing. some of these come attached to a mat, some are stand-alone. either way, you won't really need this until baby is in the 2-3 month range.
- baby toys (you won't need these until baby is at least 1-2 months old, and basic rattles are good-enough for a while)
- high chair (you won't need this until they're sitting up & eating solids - at least 5-6 months after baby is born!)
- all other baby crap (just get as-needed, if needed!)
12.03.2009
babies the movie
i know 6 people due to have a baby between mid-april and mid-may. seems fitting that this movie is going to come out at the same time. it looks adorable! not to mention fascinating.
12.01.2009
lochia & the post-birth healing
this post is going to be long, FYI. but the topic warrants it - heck, i named my blog after this topic!
the reason for writing so much is because i felt like no one ever talked about the post-birth life (it was sort of mentioned in some books, but either i didn't read those passages or it wasn't described well). therefore, i wasn't really prepared for what happens to ME, the mother, after i delivered... i don't see why that has to be the case. i don't want other women to feel like the wool was pulled over their eyes.
i mean, i expected the sleepless nights, the diaper changes, the baby crying, the breastfeeding discomfort. i figured i'd bleed and be sore for a while, but what i didn't know was how MUCH you bleed. how TIRED you are. how simple things like walking and sitting become nearly impossible for a little while.
i figured after i had one good meal, then i'd be fine... i'd sleep on my newly empty belly and enjoy my non-swollen feet... ha. feet were still swollen for weeks. not even the tummy sleep felt good because of my engorged boobs! what a racket.
post-partum is an exhausting, messy, long, and totally 100% un-sexy period of your life. you need to be ready to give yourself the rest and time needed, to heal. and you really need a baby daddy who can help in any way possible, to remind you that no matter how gross, tired, and raw you might feel - you are still amazing and beautiful and strong. heck, you just had a BABY.
the vaginal birthing process is really messy & organic... the hospitals do an astounding job of keeping it all amazingly clean, but there is no two ways about it - at some point, you are fully exposed. there are a lot (a LOT) of liquids. you sweat. shiver. puke. poo.
... and that little baby spilling from your loins is inevitably going to be covered in oodles of goo and blood. it ushers a geyser of bloody fluids out of your body with it. and THEN there is the afterbirth (placenta delivery)... maybe some stitches (if you need them)... labor is not all tidy, like they make it out to be in the movies.
and then, just when you think you finally make it through, you realize you need to heal from this mess - and that takes WEEKS.
so while you're pregnant, please please please enjoy the months of period-less living. enjoy the freedom of not worrying or carrying or tending to your monthly friend...
once that kid pops out, buh-bye.
you will immediately endure 4+ weeks of non-stop bleeding. this goes for vaginal or c-section deliveries. the medical world calls this "lochia" and, believe me, it's no joke. your body is shedding your pregnancy and shrinking your uterus back down to it's original size.
the first week is heavy bleeding - not gushing, but pretty damn close. you'll be changing yourself as frequently as you change your baby. you will get a little water bottle ("peri" bottle - short for "perineum") from the hospital to hose yourself down each time you sit at the toilet, and it will become your best friend.
sitting on the porcelain god is going to suck. you will become an expert in figuring out how to not drip all over the place while you try to clean up and change your pad. i suggest you keep your peri bottle, pads and a change of undies ready & within arms reach... in fact - make sure the pads & undies are waiting for you by the toilet BEFORE YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL TO GIVE BIRTH. you'll need them the moment you get home, and you don't want to be scrambling around to find them in a frenzy when you also have a baby screaming in the background.
i didn't do that - and couldn't remember for the life of me where i'd put the box of pads i'd bought a week earlier. everything was so easy & accessible & clean at the hospital - it was really scary being home and suddenly feeling disorganized & unclean... to be worried about staining my bathmat... i had a total panic - stupid emotions i could have easily avoided with a tiny amount of preparation.
also, if you're anything like me, you haven't touched a pad since you were like 12 years old. returning to a world of pads was extremely unappealing, heck frightening! but no tampons are allowed (for good reason), and i will say, i was amazed at how far pad technology has developed since my preteens. if you haven't a clue what to buy because you're a 100% tampon user, i highly recommend the always infinity pads. they're magic.
i also purchased some cheapo granny undies for my post-birth life, and it was a wise, wise investment. forget the thongs. since you'll essentially be in diapers for the first month, you need big, fat, cotton-y, comfy loose panties that have plenty of room for the giganto pad you need to stick in it. plan to just throw them out when you're done. then you won't feel guilty worrying about ruining any cute little pairs of undies you may have from your pre-pregnant life.
besides all the bleeding - there are other things going on with your body worth noting.
for example, you will have a few days where walking is more of an uncomfortable waddle. it's a different waddle from the 9-month pregnant waddle... kind of how you feel after a 100 mile bike ride! it will be a few weeks before the idea of a long walk or a run is palatable. take it easy and don't rush this because if you try to do too much too soon, your bleeding will get noticeably heavier. even seemingly-mundane activities like trying to do some laundry or clean during that first week will wear you out and might increase your bleeding. rest rest rest.
and you may or may not be hungry after birth. some women have no appetite. but some (like me) were ravenous. it might be related to how long you labored (19 hours without eating is enough to make anyone ravenous!) - i honestly have no idea. go ahead and have some snacks ready at home for your return from the hospital just in case. i needed several emergency snacks those first weeks (apples, crackers, etc) because of my breastfeeding.
and water water water - you should drink a ton, so get out that big old nalgene and keep it full! (actually, task baby daddy with the job of refilling it... you should be resting). you need a ton of water, especially if you are breast-feeding. and it's not uncommon for women to get constipated, so the water will help relieve that too...
be patient with your abs. i'm still amazed at how non-existent they were after, and 10 weeks later i'm still trying to get them back!
i'll talk about boob issues when i get into a blog post on breastfeeding...
but if all the physical changes aren't enough - your brain will also be experiencing highs and lows as it comes off the hormones and you'll likely be an emotional time bomb. the tears will come out of nowhere, about the dumbest things. honestly, i got very sick of feeling so icky for weeks on end. some days, i wondered if i'd be like this forever...
but i promise that the lochia eventually gets lighter and stops. the walking eventually gets easier, the stitches eventually heal. you finally get to throw out the granny panties and put on your thong again...
i think the only advice i can really give is to just be prepared to be one big, hot mess for a while... and embrace it!
don't even bother trying to look sexy for your man during post-partum life. heck, you just pushed his child out of your vagina. you get a free card to look like ass for at least 2 months (and you should remind him of this every day if you need to).
i am truly amazed that so many women have experienced & survived birth, labor, and post-partum... my respect for the mothers of the world has multiplied exponentially since going through this myself. and knowing they all made it through and look great and feel great gave me hope every day...
if they can all do it, why can't we?
the reason for writing so much is because i felt like no one ever talked about the post-birth life (it was sort of mentioned in some books, but either i didn't read those passages or it wasn't described well). therefore, i wasn't really prepared for what happens to ME, the mother, after i delivered... i don't see why that has to be the case. i don't want other women to feel like the wool was pulled over their eyes.
i mean, i expected the sleepless nights, the diaper changes, the baby crying, the breastfeeding discomfort. i figured i'd bleed and be sore for a while, but what i didn't know was how MUCH you bleed. how TIRED you are. how simple things like walking and sitting become nearly impossible for a little while.
i figured after i had one good meal, then i'd be fine... i'd sleep on my newly empty belly and enjoy my non-swollen feet... ha. feet were still swollen for weeks. not even the tummy sleep felt good because of my engorged boobs! what a racket.
post-partum is an exhausting, messy, long, and totally 100% un-sexy period of your life. you need to be ready to give yourself the rest and time needed, to heal. and you really need a baby daddy who can help in any way possible, to remind you that no matter how gross, tired, and raw you might feel - you are still amazing and beautiful and strong. heck, you just had a BABY.
the vaginal birthing process is really messy & organic... the hospitals do an astounding job of keeping it all amazingly clean, but there is no two ways about it - at some point, you are fully exposed. there are a lot (a LOT) of liquids. you sweat. shiver. puke. poo.
... and that little baby spilling from your loins is inevitably going to be covered in oodles of goo and blood. it ushers a geyser of bloody fluids out of your body with it. and THEN there is the afterbirth (placenta delivery)... maybe some stitches (if you need them)... labor is not all tidy, like they make it out to be in the movies.
and then, just when you think you finally make it through, you realize you need to heal from this mess - and that takes WEEKS.
so while you're pregnant, please please please enjoy the months of period-less living. enjoy the freedom of not worrying or carrying or tending to your monthly friend...
once that kid pops out, buh-bye.
you will immediately endure 4+ weeks of non-stop bleeding. this goes for vaginal or c-section deliveries. the medical world calls this "lochia" and, believe me, it's no joke. your body is shedding your pregnancy and shrinking your uterus back down to it's original size.
the first week is heavy bleeding - not gushing, but pretty damn close. you'll be changing yourself as frequently as you change your baby. you will get a little water bottle ("peri" bottle - short for "perineum") from the hospital to hose yourself down each time you sit at the toilet, and it will become your best friend.
sitting on the porcelain god is going to suck. you will become an expert in figuring out how to not drip all over the place while you try to clean up and change your pad. i suggest you keep your peri bottle, pads and a change of undies ready & within arms reach... in fact - make sure the pads & undies are waiting for you by the toilet BEFORE YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL TO GIVE BIRTH. you'll need them the moment you get home, and you don't want to be scrambling around to find them in a frenzy when you also have a baby screaming in the background.
i didn't do that - and couldn't remember for the life of me where i'd put the box of pads i'd bought a week earlier. everything was so easy & accessible & clean at the hospital - it was really scary being home and suddenly feeling disorganized & unclean... to be worried about staining my bathmat... i had a total panic - stupid emotions i could have easily avoided with a tiny amount of preparation.
also, if you're anything like me, you haven't touched a pad since you were like 12 years old. returning to a world of pads was extremely unappealing, heck frightening! but no tampons are allowed (for good reason), and i will say, i was amazed at how far pad technology has developed since my preteens. if you haven't a clue what to buy because you're a 100% tampon user, i highly recommend the always infinity pads. they're magic.
i also purchased some cheapo granny undies for my post-birth life, and it was a wise, wise investment. forget the thongs. since you'll essentially be in diapers for the first month, you need big, fat, cotton-y, comfy loose panties that have plenty of room for the giganto pad you need to stick in it. plan to just throw them out when you're done. then you won't feel guilty worrying about ruining any cute little pairs of undies you may have from your pre-pregnant life.
besides all the bleeding - there are other things going on with your body worth noting.
for example, you will have a few days where walking is more of an uncomfortable waddle. it's a different waddle from the 9-month pregnant waddle... kind of how you feel after a 100 mile bike ride! it will be a few weeks before the idea of a long walk or a run is palatable. take it easy and don't rush this because if you try to do too much too soon, your bleeding will get noticeably heavier. even seemingly-mundane activities like trying to do some laundry or clean during that first week will wear you out and might increase your bleeding. rest rest rest.
and you may or may not be hungry after birth. some women have no appetite. but some (like me) were ravenous. it might be related to how long you labored (19 hours without eating is enough to make anyone ravenous!) - i honestly have no idea. go ahead and have some snacks ready at home for your return from the hospital just in case. i needed several emergency snacks those first weeks (apples, crackers, etc) because of my breastfeeding.
and water water water - you should drink a ton, so get out that big old nalgene and keep it full! (actually, task baby daddy with the job of refilling it... you should be resting). you need a ton of water, especially if you are breast-feeding. and it's not uncommon for women to get constipated, so the water will help relieve that too...
be patient with your abs. i'm still amazed at how non-existent they were after, and 10 weeks later i'm still trying to get them back!
i'll talk about boob issues when i get into a blog post on breastfeeding...
but if all the physical changes aren't enough - your brain will also be experiencing highs and lows as it comes off the hormones and you'll likely be an emotional time bomb. the tears will come out of nowhere, about the dumbest things. honestly, i got very sick of feeling so icky for weeks on end. some days, i wondered if i'd be like this forever...
but i promise that the lochia eventually gets lighter and stops. the walking eventually gets easier, the stitches eventually heal. you finally get to throw out the granny panties and put on your thong again...
i think the only advice i can really give is to just be prepared to be one big, hot mess for a while... and embrace it!
don't even bother trying to look sexy for your man during post-partum life. heck, you just pushed his child out of your vagina. you get a free card to look like ass for at least 2 months (and you should remind him of this every day if you need to).
i am truly amazed that so many women have experienced & survived birth, labor, and post-partum... my respect for the mothers of the world has multiplied exponentially since going through this myself. and knowing they all made it through and look great and feel great gave me hope every day...
if they can all do it, why can't we?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)